Good bye old-self.

I'm just human, were born to die (singin' Rita Ora's song). You don't know what I've been through. They always said I'm stronger because I can fix up all my problems. They consider my smile today is the way to show I'm totally happy with my life. Wow amazing. But the truth, I am powerless. Smile is the way to hide a thousand of stories behind. Family and friends around me totally make me forgot anything happened. Allah also constantly by side to guide me to the true way. Malaikat constantly by side to wrote up what I had done. I never tell everyone what is my problem. I never tell everyone what I've kept for a long time. Quite.

Since I was lost someone, I kept thinking of what had Allah given. Allah gave me a boy who will stick for temporary only. Then He took someone who I loved far away than me. I tried to chasing, but I found failure. Allah really wanted to test myself. Then Allah put myself in the middle of hardship life to busying myself to forgot what happened. Then He asked to found where is I should going. After two years, I've figure out. I am totally at somewhere which the venue is where myself was. I went out with nobody to found out what had Allah given two years ago. Allah took him because He had written who is the best than him. 

"Family is priority" I know right. But they never understand me somehow. They always combined myself with others. Totally pissed me off. I was trying harder to show at them I can go like others but isn't enough. Sometimes I'm cursing of living at this world but when someone said "We were alive to collecting all pahala and to be thankful person for what had given" so I finally shut up. I love them no matter how I've hurt them and the way they tried to pissed me off.

Who is my real bestfriend? I don't know who is but I know one of billions person is totally my bestfriend. I couldn't find them because they are away. Sigh. But a friends around me now is totally make me happier. Although I've missed two friends in my life, I still can breath but not too barely. One day, the true friend would come to me and she/he will stick with me. Yes, I'm gotta wait for it (:

Nur Mariessa. My new niece was born two month ago. I love you.


Firstly, congratulation to 97's liner who got 8A's in PMR. Enjoy your successful guys before reaching 2013. Alhamdulillah my result wasn't bad too much. At least I've tried my best and this is what i've done. I am sorry dear parents if my result would effect to you. I'm might stupid and insha'allah will struggle so hard for SPM.

"Don't spend your precious time just for blaming yourself what you've done at past. Move on & remember all of people around you are there to mending your mistakes"

Who's there?????????? Adi Putra right?? Adore him? Me too. He's nice guy, talkactive, have charming smile and most probably I've met him!! My aunt is his foster mother so that's why I met him hehe. That was enough cause I don't know what to stories blergh 

thank you.

Assalammualaikum pembuka bicara. hehe.

On the right 12am, 19th July, I've reached 15 years old finally!!! I've waited for a long time & I'm thought I couldn't to celebrate my birthday. What happened on school first? Guess what? Hehe my classmates & crazziest buddies who scramble and rushing like an idiot just to wishing my birthday. Awh I'm so speechless hehehe so sweet. I was saw my prettiest smile, yeah.

Oh thanks to you, yes you who've would to make a cupcake for me & you just upload that picture on the twitter. we're too far, hope you won't reading this. I'm so bless to Allah for your own existance. I'm really appreciate.

So present? Oh I don't get one. But I have get lot of wishes. pray for my successful etc is more than enough. Hahaha I mean what I said.

I'm still care, but I won't to show my caring, my concern. When we were going together, I seem that there wasn't somewhere for us. Alive outside, dying inside. I'm tired of crying, so tiring. It might to less my focus on PMR. Its okay, I would try to be strong as well. Don't ask me.

Dear you, thanks for your concern. I'm feel so special, like seriously I'm not lies. You always remind me of solat etc. Can I call you as "someone special"? Of course I can't. Hm.....

This is my lastest entry for rn. I have to go, study for trial & helps my parents. See ya later blog, twitter & facebook. Take care, sweetheart.